Most embarrassing moments:
-Sophomore year, my history class was walking to the media center to work on a project. I was just thinking as I walked, and I suppose I got so involved in my head that I walked straight into the middle metal detector. I fell backwards, and landed on my ass. Half the class ignored me completely and just kept walking, and the other half just stopped and stared at me. I slowly got to my feet, saying "I'm fine, it's okay, I'm alright." No one cared, lol. But for the rest of my time in high school, that teacher would always run into doors and walls whenever he'd see me in the halls, or happen to come in a classroom I was in-- just to be funny.
-The last time I saw my good friend, Bobby, we got really high, and were watching UFC. The sound of the television messed with my head a lot, and it ended up being an uncontrollable torture. I threw up in their trashcan. I had to lay down, with the tv turned down, and sleep a little before driving home. Even when they woke me, I wasn't fit to drive. It was the worst drive I've ever experienced, but to this day, I'm still embarrassed to death about throwing up from being so high.
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Most brave moments:
-In college, I took public speaking. I'm terrified of talking in front of people, but I passed with flying colors. I made each speech very intense and dramatic topics, so that I'd concentrate on holding myself together, instead of concentrating on everything else. One speech, I cried, and shook-- trying to tell about Tim, his death, how it haunts me, the dreams, etc. Another speech, I talked about how my great grandma'd just died, and how she hated me, and how I couldn't manage to be sad at her funeral.
-In beauty school, I had a crush on a guy, and I'd written poems about him, and finally, I'd taken him outside to the parking lot, and told him that I liked him, and that I think he'd like me too, if he just gave me the chance. He told me to 'keep your chin up, and look to the stars.' Gee, thanks.
-On New Year's Eve, I declared my love and readiness for a friend. I was scared, I was nervous, I didn't know how to go about it. I wrote two pages of notes on my computer, then condensed it to four text pages. I was going to kiss him at midnight, even though he has a girlfriend. Even though, I'm not "that kind of girl." I didn't, due to some blockage, but I did read off my notes, as he played with a Rubic's Cube. He told me he'd be my friend.
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Biggest mistakes of my life:
-Picking Castle Junior High over Boonville. (I may not be anywhere close to this situation at this point.)
-Graduating early, without a better thought-out plan for the future.
-Letting the girls in beauty school make me feel worthless. Thus, eventually causing me to drop out.
-Not forcing USI to give me a new roommate, thus helping my drop-out.
-Not staying in Florida once I was there.
-A majority of my tattoos.
-Not realizing that I look forward and backward, but never right in front of me, as I should've been, for years.
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Best times of my life:
-Gatlinburg w the majority of the family in July '09.
-Nashville times w Mark and our friends.
-Florida times w Dakota in the first 6 months of '09.
-Toking times w Megh in '08, throughout beauty school.
-Times w my moped.
-Riding the past two years, everywhere at any time, w Pop on his motorcycle.
-Lunches w Gram and Mom, in secret.
-Bookstore Jesus-talks w my brother.
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Miss the most:
-Having a purpose.
-Having a best friend.
-Knowing that I have someone to listen to me, and not tell, and not judge, just ..be there.
-Being comfortable around a guy (x2) (both fails, apparently).
-Gram taking me out of town when I got stressed out.
-My spontaneous trips.
-The beach.
-My moped.
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Wants the most:
-A karoke machine.
-A peekapoo puppy.
-A different car.
-To pay off all of my school loans.
-To be right.
-Things to turn around, and end in my favor.
-A legit lifeplan.
-To have my former close-people learn what they need to, and choose to come back to me.
-To get fixed.
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