Panic. "Don't panic"

I have little attacks.

Like panic attacks, but a different way. More literal.
I panic.

I feel shut off.
I feel left out.
I'm not sure what I feel.
I feel suffocated. Like I'm being suffocated right now.

It's like I'm alone, and not in a good way.
In a way to where everyone else is okay, and I'm over here, not.

I feel like someone just hit me really hard, and the wind's knocked out of me.

Right now.

This happens sometimes.

I get emotional, I get panicky, I get nervous, I say things to people, I get hateful in public (fbk/mysp). I say things to people that I shouldn't say, things.. well, panicky things, that I need a lot of reassurance and help and love and I need positive.. well, I probably need words of affirmation.

I don't get those. I usually get ignored.

Or I get told that it's all okay and it's going to be okay.
You might as well be telling me to get a chill pill and stfu, because that's all I'm hearing, and it's not helping. It isn't positive. It's just you trying to stick a pacifier in my mouth when really, I'm fucking starving. For, you know, food.


I'm having this sort of panic attack right now.

I need a hug. I need to cry real fast and get it out. I need a really really long hug.



Where's my hug?