I'm an extraordinary machine.

Time is weird.
Every day seems to be a literal lifetime to me. Most days are fails. Some days are good, because working doubles, I am able to feel productive and accomplished and proud and strong.


Humans are weird.
We just are.


Relationships are weird.
Familyships, friendships, relationships. Things change so much, so fast, so often, so continuously. Each of our ideas, influences, decisions, thoughts, plans, feelings change so much so often, so un- on time. People just drift from person to person to thing to thing to change from change. You never know what's going to happen. You never know how it's going to end. Or how it's going to end up. You can't tell if you'll feel the same forever. You can't tell how the other person feels all the time. You'll never know their thoughts. I can hardly keep up with my own thoughts. It's hard trying to keep someone else happy. It's nice when what you do works though. It's strange that listening to how a relationship should be is thus way, when ..no. No.. no. There's no certain way for a relationship to be. Comfort and happiness and appreciation is how a relationship should be. There are no rules, no fair way of playing, no standards, no set-anythings. It's kind of a shock to my system. Relationships are weird.


Life is weird.
Constant hurtles. Constant bullies and fights and ambushes. Constant glories and victorious rampages and celebrations. Downers and uppers. Uppers and downers. Wins and fails. Fails and fails. A win every once in a while. Life. Is weird, mutherfuckers.