I wish I was beautiful, sometimes.

Sometimes, I wish I was beautiful.

Because I want to look pretty when I wear anything, and do my hair any sort of way.

I want more things to be effortless for me.


But, when I think about it longer than a minute, I know that I'm not really the 'beautiful' type.

I'm not calm and sweet.

I'm not soft-spoken and innocent.

I'm not exactly thoughtful and kind.


I'm pretty much destined to be "cute" forever, I guess.

Which sometimes bums me out. Because I want to be pretty so bad.

But, my personality is more of a 'cute' anyway.

I'm too goofy, and awkward, and funny, and weird to be beautiful or pretty.


Sometimes, though, I wish I wore light pink a lot, and had soft brown hair, and was my natural pale, and had rosy cheeks and big, pink lips, and was a little skinnier, a little taller, a little sweeter.

But, I'm not. I wear gray and black and white and yellow and red, and I have wild, intense hair, and I am different kinds of tan, with rosy cheeks and neutral lips, and I'm average weight and average heighted, and I'm goofy.


I'm just goofy. I'm just this way.
And I can't stop.

So, I get sad that I am not beautiful, and that I'm just cute.

But, I'd rather be cute than be ugly. And a bitch. And lame, and needy.
So, I guess I win anyway.