Last night.

Last night, after work, I went to Denny's w Nolan. I had a good time, and he's like that guy that I can talk to things about, and he'll be interested in helping me go in the right direction, lol. He bought my cappecino and my apple stuff; I thought that was really kind.


Anyway, I like Stephen.



Anyway again.
I had a dream. I went to bed at 10:57p.

It was so strange, and when I woke up, I knew I should've written it down, or told somebody about it, but I also knew that I was really tired still and that a dream text of mine usually takes up 15 pages of text. So I didn't. But it was so intense and moving and shocking, that I figured I'd remember it anyway.

Well. What I do remember is, ..well, not much. I remember the end. I was in the salon, or at least the atmosphere and feeling was the same as when I'm in the salon. And one of the older women was there, and she used to/sometimes still does, compliment me on how awesome I am at my job, and how stylish I am, and stuff like that. Well, she was making me feel really uncomfortable, and bad about myself.

I remember noting in my head about how terrible it is that I'm getting the same feeling from my salon, as I did while I was in beauty school. It was an overwhelmingly helpless feeling, and it was like the words were seeping through the cracks of my walls of defense, and got to me, soaked into me.

I remember panicking, feeling exasperated, and alone, and claustrophobic on the inside. I started running, and I was running, but there were no walls or floors or ceilings, just this big, light gray emptiness, with everyone standing as if they were at their stations (but there were no stations-- no nothing, just people). I kept running, but it was like I was on a treadmill with the speed increasing; I was going nowhere. I couldn't get out.

And then I remember, in my dream, while running, forcing myself to realize that it can't be real. That I was only dreaming, just a bad dream. I remember trying to make it true. I tried so hard to make it all stop, and tell myself that I'm in control and that I will be okay soon. I tried to brainwash myself into what's the actual truth, but much like I do with other things in real life.

I ran and ran, and shrieked in my head that it's all a dream, to just run out of the dream. And, I ran out of the dream. I woke up.


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After falling back to sleep, I dreamt again.


I can't remember everything, but I didn't write it down either. I know I texted Stephen to tell him I dreamt about him. But i can't remember details.

Anyway. It was common day, much like today or yesterday. And the jist of it all, was that he was being strange. And I was like, wtf is your problem?

And, in a long-about way, he ended up saying that he thinks he loves me. And I just stopped. I didn't breathe, or blink, or respond, or think or anything. My jaw was dropped. I didn't know anything.

I was in shock.

Then in my head, I realized: oh. yeah. I forgot I took over Aphrodite's job.





Haha.

But he was so cute and sincere.

Didn't know he'd been tricked.

__x____