6.06.2009

So now, what does this really mean?

I just had a dream.

Tim, ..was there.

I was with someone, and I wasn't driving. We were on this long road, going to this church (for some reason) that I'd gone to most of my life (that I'd likely never be going to again, for any reason). It was a gorgeous day; maybe midmorning.

We're nearly there, and I look at my phone, and I have a missed call from Brandon O'Grady. (I used to hang out w Brandon years ago, when Tim was still alive, and have ran into him and said 'hey' since, but that's it.)

I call it back, and I'm talking to the person driving, at the same time.

A man answers, and I'm distracted, and then the man realizes who I am, or why I'm calling maybe, and hands the phone to someone else: Tim.

Tim is trying to talk to me, but I'm getting frustrated with whoever's driving me, and then I look to my right, and see where the church should be.

There's a huge ark. I MEAN HUGE. It's so tall, the bottom's so big, it's.. enormous. Bigger than I've ever thought for an ark to be. I don't know why.

I am in awe, and I started kind of flipping out to the driver (who is a friend of mine, in case I didn't make that clear), and Tim's on the phone, trying to talk to me, and I said "who is this?" and he said "Hey, it's me!" in a --come on, we both know who this is-- kind of way.

So I try to tell him what I'm seeing, and that I'm freaking out, because it kind of makes sense that the church is gone, and that they're building an ark because the end of the world's coming, and I kind of ...fuck, I don't even know.

But he gets frustrated because I guess I'm talking over him, like he kept trying to tell me something, and I was so in shock that I kept talking. He got mad and said "Fuck it." to whoever was there with him (who was obviously at least Brandon O'Grady).

And I just stared at the ark, and the driver pulled around in a huge circle in front of it, and wouldn't stop. And I wanted to stop, I guess, but he wouldn't stop the car. And I just stared at it, and the sky that was very very very blue with some thin, white clouds behind the ark, began to turn gray and kind of angry. I kept trying to call back, but no one would answer.

I just stared.

And then I realized that I just talked to Tim.

====================

...Then I just woke up. My alarm went off. Time to get ready for the airport. Then I realized that I just talked to Tim. And I heard his voice, in my dream. His actual voice. And now I realize, I didn't listen to him, and whatever he was trying to tell me. I missed out on whatever that could have been. He didn't seem surprised when I was blabbering about the ark. Maybe he knew, and knew why they were making it-- maybe he was trying to explain to me.

I just talked to Tim. ...And I saw an ark, where a church should've been.

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GAMEPLAN: Travel. Experience danger. Love everyone; mostly you. Have a good day. Write a book or two. Kill self at the end of the day.

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