I want a simple life.

Sometimes, I forget how to go about that. Or I try so hard to get to that, that I complicate things, and then get flustered about the complexity of everything in my life.



Sometimes, I forget that right now, and ten minutes ago, and three days ago, are all part of my time. That this time that I keep living, and going on, it's all part of what I'm going towards, what I'm going for. I keep looking so far out, that I'm overlooking right now.

Sometimes I remember to take this for what it is, though. Those are the times I like the most. I try to live it so deeply that I breathe deeper, trying to fill myself with the moment. I can't honestly say that every moment I live is one of those times. Maybe I should encourage myself to make them each those moments though. Even the ugly, sad, bad ones. Because it's all emotion, it's all intense, it's all worth it in the end. Every bit of it all leads me to the next big thing that I count on, the next lessons I learn, the next memories, the next rule I make for myself.


I am, actually, enjoying right now, with my freshly painted toenails, huge, fluffy, clean hair, trashy house, plans tonight, blah blah blah. ;)

I make things special for myself. I try to instill the good moments in myself, for myself. I've gotten pretty good at it. But sometimes, other things get my attention, and it's hard to focus on so many things at one time.


Sometimes, a few good things happen at once, and make it difficult for me to remember the other good things that I try to hold high.



It's okay though.
I can't do everything.

I can't control myself all the time.