4.02.2010

Multi-subjected.

I need an apartment, my car, some food, gas in my car, a full-time job, and some serenity.

I'd like a kitten, and to be making more than minimum wage.


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Time and time again, day after day, moments after moments, I'm consistantly surprised about the kindness of strangers.

I have purple, blue, green, and gold hair, and tattoos, and a mouth like a sailor, and still, strangers just talk to me like they've known me for years, and respect me like I'm someone worth being, and are so kind and friendly, that I'd swear they were my best friends, better than anyone I've had before.



I haven't had any friends for a few months now.

I haven't missed it. Then again, I do have three jobs, and I live very close to my family.

Even still. When I've sat down and thought it through, I haven't missed having friends. I don't miss having friends.

And right now, I'm remembering why I don't really need to have any friends.



The dramatic situations that just pop up out of nowhere? Ha, not when you don't have friends! The fights and "backstabbing" and "unforgivable acts"? Hah, no. Not when you don't have friends.

Yeah, even when people aren't your friends anyMORE, they can hurt you, or cause situations that are unnecessarily dramatic, because they probably know you fairly well, and they probably know what pushes your buttons, and what you like, and what you'd hate to lose. So, even though I don't have friends right now, I still have old friends. Old friends who knew me, who know me, who can and will hurt me.

Thus, douchebags. Thus, enemies. Thus, assholes. Thus, disappointment.





2010, I haven't held grudges. I dropped all judgments I had before this year.
Except for Katherine.

But, I forgive Katherine. And even though my sister's a jerk, I don't hate her, I don't feel angry towards her. And even though I feel royally fucked over by Dakota right now, I won't hold this against him. I'll just keep it in mind for the now, and future too.

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GAMEPLAN: Travel. Experience danger. Love everyone; mostly you. Have a good day. Write a book or two. Kill self at the end of the day.

( Facebook Bumper Sticker quote. )

"Damaged people are dangerous, because they know they can survive."

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